I am finding myself in a difficult situation. I am in the final stages of an interviewing process for my dream job and, while discussing this matter with my family, I have found that my career desire and my family’s needs are conflicting.
If I get this job it will mean that my family has to relocate, and I will have to take a step back in terms of compensation. I am the sole bread earner as my partner has put his career aside to take care of the family and the household. This career change would mean a significant change in life-style for my entire family. As I discussed this recently with my partner, I came to realize that imposing this change to my family was not acceptable. Nevertheless, I am so close the achieve what I have been working so hard for these past years.
It is a pity, but I think I will have to turn down this offer, for the sake of my family. What could I have done better? What should I pay attention to next time to avoid such situation?
Dear M. Dilemma,
We have seen many cases where career and family paths are conflicting. A relocation, taking a step back in salary or in title, leaving a stable job/company for a new, more exciting but at the same time a risky adventure…
To avoid the sleepless nights and the difficult talks, we suggest that you get your partner, and your family involved in the very early stages of your job search. Agree on what would satisfy you professionally and what would be satisfying for your family.
How much does our household need to earn? Do the kids really need to go to private school? Can we afford to move away from family members who are supporting our household? I have already made many friends in this city; do I want to risk it all by moving away?
Find out what matters to the people with whom you share your life – before you get to far into an interview process. All these questions should be addressed in early stages to avoid finding yourself in a delicate situation when it comes to making a decision.
And yes, you will sometimes find yourself in a situation where someone needs to compromise, but do it in early stages, to avoid the disappointment of one party.
Your family deserves to be involved in the process, as your career decisions also influence their lives.